Corrupt a wish game

they instead send spies to stalk you/lick your ears

I wish my fingers would move faster

When you become everything at once, you feel everything that happens. (i. e. every time something dies a part of you dies too, you feel the exact amount of pain the person getting their wisdom teeth pulled out does)

I wish I could have more cats. ;-;

you persuade yourself that you're evil and you hide in a hole for the rest of your life in shame.

I wish I didn't have so many songs stuck in my head

You instead have one song stuck in your head for the rest of your life.

I wish I could have some good watermelon right now. ;-;

You eat the watermelon, but then realize it was poisonous and die

I wish my wand would stop backfiring ;-;

Your wand stops backfiring, but instead it will always cast successfully ON you.

I wish my Mom's laptop could support Minecraft, so I could go on the server.

The laptop supports Minecraft, but it explodes from the weight.

I wish sharks didn't exist. *sigh*

Sharks don't exist, and suddenly there is an increase in dolphins. The dolphins plot to take over the world by making an army of their new babies, and are so cute everyone dies. 

I wish I could have more ripe fruit.

The ripe fruit has a virius, and you start the zombie apocalypse.

I wish I could keep my foster dog...

You keep your foster dog, but it becomes aggressive towards you.

I wish my iPod wasn't so slow.

It becomes super fast, but then explodes.

I wish my kitten wouldn't scratch or bite me...

Your kitten doesn't scratch and bite you, but instead hides and runs away from you.

I wish I could hug all the cats in the world. :3

You become a professor, but everyone's least favorite professor.

I wish the recipes on my pinterest board all turn out to be good when I make them.

You have great cooking skills, but everyone loves them so much, they kill you for it.

I wish I was a Charms Professor...

@ColonelBubbles What does "more prot 4" mean?